Having an Internal Locus of Control

I chose this topic for today, because lately I’ve been thinking a lot about outcomes…I will explain.  Most often than not, when I’m working on a project, I’m usually feeling pretty optimistic at the start. Somewhere in the middle of the project when the pressure brews like a steaming pot of coffee, I begin to find excuses for myself and slowly reduce my targets.  I usually blame it on a wide variety of things and the intent is to make me feel good. If you're like me, then you know this behavior has to be curbed. In the words of my High School basketball coach " Don't Cheat Yourself !"

I’ve been researching on the best ways to approach projects and pretty much everything in life. For the record, I will like to state that I'm not done researching; however, I have come across some notable things that I will like to share. What I came across in my research is that there are two types of people in life. There are the ones that have an internal locus of control and others who have an external locus of control. This blog entry will focus on the former.

The group with an external locus of control are the ones who believe that their environment plays a huge part in the outcome of events. These people usually blame exterior factors for why things happen when they do. They tend to blame the weather, the food, the ambience and I’m sure you get where I am taking this.

 Their reaction to adversity is usually to resort to blame and defence. Such people usually tend to give up quickly on difficult situations. An example will simply be, if an individual with an external locus of control took an exam and did not meet his or her target, they will resort to blaming the teacher and the examiners for their failures. Some might goes as far as blaming the weather.

However, what I want to address today is working on having an internal locus of control. Having an internal locus of control is simply taking charge of your affairs. You don’t blame the environment for your failures or find excuses.

I have noticed that some of the most successful people at what they do in life, have an internal locus of control. From Warren Buffet, Michael Jordan, Nelson Mandela to Mother Theresa. These people believed that they controlled their situation by focusing their energies on the things they could do and didn’t worry about the things they had no control over.  They always put their 100% effort into things they did. This group of people usually had a positive mental attitude towards life in general.

Research has shown that having an internal locus of control makes you happier, less depressed, and less stressed. So come on what are you waiting for? Always remember that you have a choice in your approach to life. It starts with your attitude and the rest will fall in line. So it doesn’t matter if it is a life goal, a relationship, health goals or financial goals, your attitude from the onset will determine your final outcome. Be positive and work hard on putting your all into achieving your goals.

I know there are some people reading this and thinking to themselves that “I once put my 110% into achieving a goal and I was unsuccessful”. To those folks, I want to point out that this is step #2 of having an internal locus of control. You need to stop looking at failed attempts as simply failures. What you ought to do is have an assessment of what you did, revise your notes and try again. Thomas Edison is the poster boy for Step #2. He invented the light bulb after a couple iterations and that is a gross understatement.He once said "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”His relentless atitude towards succeeding is worthy of emulation and a by-product of having an internal locus of control.

Having an internal locus of control isn’t something you can simply call up. It takes time to master the art. In the beginning it will be difficult but you have to bring your mind back to the fact that you are in control of your affairs and that includes  how you prepare and execute your task. The rest are intangibles and you have no control over them.

I hope that after reading this you will decide to practice having an internal locus of control. Don't be afraid to take the first steps, even if you fail in the beginning, remember to continue working and eventually it will become a habit.

Till my next entry, Peace and Much Love to you!

Do not be Afraid to Fail….Embrace It

I grew up in a community where caution was preached on the daily to me. What that fostered in my mind was to sail close to the shore and never  venture far off because it was an uncharted territory. As a child, I was quite the character, constantly exploring and jumping around any chance I got. I remember asking questions almost to the annoyance of the adults around me. You could have called me hyper and that would have been a fair assessment. You can imagine my dear mother screaming at the top of her lungs for her precious little boy to exercise restraint. I tell you this story  because I want you to see the juxtaposition of my innate character with the society I lived in.

I grew up in Ghana, West Africa  and as people from the country can attest, most parents are quick to discipline their children on the slightest showing of childishness associated with rebellion. This constant shaping of young minds to not venture off or explore uncharted terrains and to conform to rules of society,  leads to adults who are not particularly excited  or are too scared to start new ventures but rather to conform to old institutions or play it safe.

I told you all that to tell you this. Most people are so scared of failure that they fail to start a new project, a course of action, a relationship or a business. We constantly look at failure as a negative cloud that follows us everywhere we go. Our environment, our upbringing and our natural tendencies make us this way. We don't have to start blaming anyone for this but rather to realize this aspect of ourselves and make positive changes.

Failing is not entirely a bad thing and you don't have to be an optimist to realize that, although being a pessimist makes it difficult. Let me ask you a simple question. What do Michael Jordan, Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Thomas Edison  and Walt Disney have in common? They all failed in some way or another but did not let it define them. I will explain.

Michael Jeffrey Jordan: Arguably, the best basketball player of all time!   His drive, work ethic and hunger to succeed was unheard of. He led his club and country to numerous victories whiles picking up personal accolades along the way. His charisma was magnetic and this made him a global icon.

 Do you know that when Michael started playing basketball in High school as a freshman, he was cut from the team because he "wasn't good enough" according to his high school basketball  coach. He is said to have gone home , locked himself in his room and cried. Can you imagine if M.J had not decided to try again and work even harder?  Can you imagine if he didn't learn from his failure and use that as a form of motivation? The answer to that question is the world would have missed an opportunity to witness one of the most gifted and talented athletes of all time and Michael Jordan would have missed an amazing opportunity to affect so many lives like he did.

Alert Einstein: Mr, E= MC squared himself. This superstar of a scientist is so popular that he is regarded as the most influential scientist of all time. This German-born theoretical scientist developed the general theory of relativity one of the two pillars of modern physics.  He received a Nobel Peace Prize in 1921 for his services to theoretical physics.

Do you know that Einstein wasn't able to speak till he was 4 years old and wasn't able to read till age  7. His teachers labeled him as slow and mentally handicapped and that he would  not amount to anything. Boy ! Was that wrong.

Can you imagine if he let those words define him? The foundation of quantum physics would have been lost to man.

Steve Jobs: This CEO was able to resuscitate a dying company to become the poster boy of Silicon Valley. He inspired and led  Apple to become the world's second largest IT company by revenue and the most admired company in the world according to Fortune magazine from the years 2008-2012. Did you know that this founder, chairman and CEO of Apple, was once kicked out of his own company. Can you imagine the pain he had to endure walking away from a dream he had helped conceive. As history will have it, his endurance and ability to learn from his past mistakes led him to return to Apple and ultimately shape its future and image.

At this point, I hope  you get the drift of why I asked the question above. These individuals persevered and kept on pushing even when the world thought they weren't good enough. When they failed  numerous times in the case of Thomas Edison ( about a thousand times ) they kept on pushing forward till they achieved their dreams. You need to start looking at failure as a positive step towards success instead of a negative image. When you attach positivity to failure, you then aren't as scared to fail. When it happens you embrace it , retool , restock and reapply.

It is only with this mindset that you can begin to break barriers into new ventures and terrains. I was listening to Jack Canfield speak once and he mentioned that he didn't  understand  people who were afraid to fail. He explained with  an example where an individual was afraid to ask someone out to lunch. He mentioned that before asking someone out to lunch, you were going to eat alone anyways, the answer you get from the person should not determine if you eat or not. Life, still goes on. You only loose company you might have had if you had decided not to ask because you were scared.

I wish you all good luck on your individual  missions in life. Remember to always have a positive mental attitude and to never be afraid …… to fail !

Till my next entry, Peace and Much Love to you!

The side-view mirror

 It was a typical  Thursday morning and I found myself stuck in traffic. Sitting in the drivers seat eagerly looking on with no power to speed up the situation, I felt so helpless. It is at times like these that I wonder when the first flying car is going to be invented. I begin day dreaming  about that concept and wonder  whether or not flying cars would  remove the nuisance of traffic . Whiles deep in thought, I am abruptly brought back to consciousness by the loud horn of an adjacent driver signaling for the car ahead to move, if even for a couple inches. I sigh, the universal sign of a frustrated driver, I smile to myself.

A couple of minutes pass by and  I catch myself this time staring at the side-view mirror of my car and notice the sprawling lines of vehicles behind me. I fixate on that for a while and as if caught in a trance it dawns on me how the side-view mirror , the traffic and road are all metaphors for life. 

Life is like an open road with detours, road blocks , traffic and subject to the elements.  There are days when you feel really in control and everything seems to go on smoothly as planned. Your GPS is humming along nicely, the radio is playing your favorite tunes and you're not missing any of your exits.  There are also days when you are stuck in traffic and all you can do is sit pretty , remain hopeful and wait. At times like these listening to your favorite radio station helps or perhaps a playlist or an audiotape. Fussing and fuming doesn't make the cars ahead of you  move any quicker ( It just probably affects your blood pressure ).

That can also be said about life when you are stuck in a rut. You can fuss or fume and be impatient with the situation or adopt a positive outlook and make the best you can with where you are. It always isn't easy to do but once you begin to practice this habit, it sticks with you and becomes a part of your nature.

The side-view mirror showed how many cars were behind me and how far I had traversed. In relation to life, it is similar to fixating or constantly looking back at past problems instead of looking forward positively to future adventures. You are in the drivers seat and it is your choice to use past failures or troubles as a heavy baggage which constantly wears you down, or as a form of motivation showing how close you are to your destination because you chose not to give up.

I hope this first entry  inspires you to not give up on life or your dreams for that matter  but to adopt a resilient and positive outlook towards it. Please feel free to comment ,subscribe and share.

Till my next entry, Peace and Much Love to you!